460+Mustache Puns: Your One-Stop Shop for Hilarious for 2025

By James Wilson

Are you searching high and low for the perfect mustache puns to tickle your funny bone? Look no further! This article is your ultimate guide to mustache-tastic humor, guaranteed to leave you grinning from ear to ear. We’ve compiled a collection of the best mustache puns and jokes, categorized for your convenience, so get ready to unleash your inner pun-master!

Mustache Puns for the Classic ‘Stache Lover

  • I’ve got a great mustache pun, but it’s going to take a while to explain. It’s a long story.
  • What do you call a fake mustache? A must-pretend-ache!
  • Why did the mustache go to the police? Because it was involved in a hairy situation!
  • Why was the mustache sad? Because it had no body to go with!
  • My mustache and I are having a disagreement. It wants to be a beard, but I told it to get a grip.
  • I’m starting a mustache appreciation society; we’ll meet once a month, but that’s just a monthly thing.
  • Why did the man break up with his mustache? It was getting too hairy!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hair-metal!
  • I tried to grow a handlebar mustache, but it just kept falling off. Guess I’ll have to get a grip.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite song? I’ve got you under my skin!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always late? A tardy-stache!
  • What did the walrus say to the mustache? “You’re looking whiskered!”
  • What’s the opposite of a mustache? A must-not-ache!
  • What kind of mustache is always polite? A well-mannered ‘stache!
  • What do you call a lazy mustache? A lay-down-stache!
  • Why was the mustache so happy? It had a lot of face time!
  • I tried growing a mustache, but it kept getting away from me. Guess I wasn’t meant to be a mustache man.
  • What did the mustache say to the comb? “You’re looking sharp.”
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite holiday? Mustache Day!
  • I’m dating a girl with a great mustache, she’s got excellent facial hair.
  • Why was the mustache fired from his job? Because he was always pulling his weight.
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always lying? A fib-er-stache!
  • Why did the mustache go to therapy? It was feeling a little down in the mouth.
  • What do you get if you cross a mustache with a cactus? A prickly ‘stache!
  • My mustache is so thick, it’s blocking my view. I’m always missing out on the big picture!
  • What do you call a mustache that travels the world? A jet-setter stache!
  • Why did the mustache leave the party early? Because it had a mustache-do!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite kind of cheese? Hair-y Gouda.
  • Why was the mustache so proud? Because it was well-groomed!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite dance? The ‘Stache Waltz!
  • What’s a mustache’s least favorite vegetable? A moustache-tache!
  • Why did the mustache break up with the hairbrush? It was always brushing him the wrong way.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite place to go on vacation? The Hair-itage sites.
  • What do you call a mustache that wins all the competitions? A champion ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite game to play? Hide and seek.
  • Why did the mustache become a lawyer? Because it had a lot of hair-raising cases!
  • My mustache is so stylish, it’s got its own Instagram account.
  • What do you call a mustache made of cotton candy? A sugary ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? Hair-raising sprints!
  • What do you call a mustache that doesn’t trust anyone? A suspicious ‘stache!
  • My mustache is so bushy, it needs its own zip code.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of car? A hair-raiser!

Best Pick: “Why did the mustache go to the police? Because it was involved in a hairy situation!”

Funny Mustache Puns for Kids

  • What do you call a sad mustache? A down-in-the-mouth-stache!
  • What kind of mustache likes to dance? A boogie-woogie-stache!
  • What did the mustache say to the comb? “You’re looking sharp today!”
  • My mustache is ticklish. It gets me every time!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always getting into trouble? A mischievous mustache!
  • My mustache is a little scruffy today, I need a shave!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite color? Hair today, gone tomorrow.
  • What did the baby mustache say to the mommy mustache? “I’m growing bigger!”
  • I have a mustache, so I’m always ready for a mustache-tache.
  • I wish my mustache could fly, then I could be a super hero!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Hair-y potatoes!
  • What do you call a mustache that works at a bakery? A dough-stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? A hair-raising soda!
  • What do you call a friendly mustache? A mustache-tache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite way to travel? On a hair-plane!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite game? Hide and whisker!
  • My mustache is always giving me a good time.
  • I have a mustache, so I’m a funny fellow.
  • What do you call a mustache that’s really long? A super-long ‘stache!
  • What do you call a stylish mustache? A super ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite animal? A hair-y dog!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always happy? A cheerful ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite season? The hair-raising fall!
  • My mustache is my friend, it’s so much fun!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s good at sports? An athletic ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite snack? Hair-raising pretzels!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always polite? A courteous ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite hobby? Hair-raising kites!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always calm? A peaceful ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite ice cream flavor? Hair-raising mint chocolate chip!
  • My mustache and I are best buddies!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of tree? A hair-raising oak!
  • What do you call a mustache that is always on time? A punctual ‘stache!
  • My mustache and I have lots of fun together!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite place to relax? The hair-raising spa!
  • What do you call a mustache that is very shy? A timid ‘stache!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite subject in school? Hair-raising history!

Best Pick: “What did the baby mustache say to the mommy mustache? ‘I’m growing bigger!'”

Clever Mustache Puns for Adults

  • I’m on a mustache diet, I’m only eating hair-y snacks.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite book? The Hairy Potter series!
  • I met a girl with a really impressive mustache, it was a-must-ache!
  • My mustache is so impressive, it’s got its own bodyguard!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite hobby? Hair-raising adventures!
  • I’ve got a mustache, now I need to find a good wax.
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always late? A tardy-stache.
  • I got a new trimmer for my mustache, now I’m a mustache-tache-tician.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite holiday? Mustache-versary!
  • My mustache is so good, it makes me look handsome!
  • Why did the mustache get a job at the library? Because it was well-read!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s really messy? A wild-stache!
  • I’m a mustache connoisseur, I can spot a great mustache from a mile away.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite song? “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.”
  • My mustache is so epic, it’s legendary!
  • Why did the mustache start a band? Because it had a lot of hair-raising riffs!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s super stylish? A fashion-stache!
  • I need a new razor, my mustache is way too thick!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of movie? A hair-raising thriller!
  • My mustache is my pride and joy, it’s so awesome!
  • Why did the mustache go to court? Because it had a hairy case!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite outdoor activity? Hair-raising mountain climbing!
  • I’m obsessed with my mustache, I comb it every hour!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite way to communicate? Through hair-raising whispers!
  • My mustache is so long, it trails behind me like a cape!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite sport? Hair-raising extreme sports!
  • I’m making my own mustache wax, it’s a family recipe.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of art? Hair-raising sculptures!
  • My mustache is so iconic, it’s part of my image!
  • What do you call a mustache that always makes you laugh? A funny ‘stache!
  • My mustache is so fine, it’s like silk!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of dance? The hair-raising tango!
  • I’m writing a book about mustaches, it’s going to be epic!
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite type of fashion? Hair-raising haute couture!
  • My mustache is so magnificent, it’s utterly superb!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always in good spirits? A happy ‘stache!
  • My mustache is so thick, it requires a lot of maintenance.
  • What’s a mustache’s favorite activity? Hair-raising zip-lining!

Best Pick: “What’s a mustache’s favorite book? The Hairy Potter series!”

Unique Mustache Puns You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

  • I have a mustache, so I’m always on fleek!
  • My mustache is a symbol of my masculinity, it’s totally boss.
  • What do you call a mustache that’s a bit of a party animal? A wild ‘stache!
  • What do you call a mustache that makes you laugh? A comical ‘stache!
  • My mustache is so unique, it’s one of a kind!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very intelligent? A brainy ‘stache!
  • I’m in a mustache club, we’re having a mustache-tache party soon!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always honest? A truthful ‘stache!
  • My mustache is my personal brand, it’s totally me!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very adventurous? A daring ‘stache!
  • What do you call a mustache that is incredibly stylish? A dapper ‘stache!
  • My mustache is part of my identity, it’s my signature look!
  • What do you call a mustache that is a bit mysterious? An enigmatic ‘stache!
  • I love mustaches so much, I think they’re the best!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very romantic? A swoon-worthy ‘stache!
  • I’m obsessed with the history of mustaches, it’s fascinating!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very relaxed? A laid-back ‘stache!
  • My mustache is a work of art, it’s beautifully sculpted!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s always positive? An optimistic ‘stache!
  • I’m starting a mustache appreciation society, it’s going to be legendary!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very confident? A self-assured ‘stache!
  • My mustache is a reflection of my personality, it’s bold and vibrant!
  • What do you call a mustache that is a bit mischievous? A roguish ‘stache!
  • I love mustaches because they add character, it’s amazing!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s very sophisticated? An elegant ‘stache!
  • My mustache is my signature style, it sets me apart!
  • What do you call a mustache that is a real trendsetter? A stylish ‘stache!
  • I believe mustaches are the epitome of style, it’s iconic!
  • What do you call a mustache that’s a true gentleman? A refined ‘stache!
  • My mustache is what makes me unique, it’s my special feature!
  • What do you call a mustache that is bursting with personality? A vivacious ‘stache!

Best Pick: “My mustache is part of my identity, it’s my signature look!”

Mustache Puns Based on Movie Characters

  • What’s Ron Burgundy’s favorite type of mustache? A champion stache!
  • What do you call a mustache that looks like Sam Elliott’s? A legendary ‘stache!
  • What’s Freddy Mercury’s mustache’s favorite song? Bohemian Rhapsody!
  • What type of mustache does Sherlock Holmes have? A detective stache.
  • What’s Tom Selleck’s mustache’s favorite food? Magnum P.I. sized portions!
  • Which mustache is best known for its role in a Western? The Eastwood stache.
  • What kind of mustache does a supervillain have? A villainous ‘stache!
  • What did the mustache say to the other movie mustache? “Let’s do a scene together!”
  • What’s a cowboy’s mustache’s favorite drink? Whiskey.
  • What type of mustache does a pirate have? A swashbuckling ‘stache!
  • What kind of mustache does a superhero have? A righteous ‘stache.
  • What did the Clark Gable mustache say to the other mustache? “Let’s have a drink together.”
  • What type of mustache does a rockstar have? A rebel ‘stache.
  • Which mustache is best known for its role in a romantic comedy? The Hugh Grant stache.
  • What’s a James Bond villain’s mustache’s favorite accessory? A monocle.
  • What kind of mustache does a detective have? A mysterious ‘stache!
  • What kind of mustache does a secret agent have? A covert ‘stache!
  • What did the Mark Twain mustache say to the other mustache? “Let’s write a book together.”
  • Which mustache is best known for its role in a spy movie? The Sean Connery stache.
  • What type of mustache does a gangster have? A menacing ‘stache!

Best Pick: “What’s Tom Selleck’s mustache’s favorite food? Magnum P.I. sized portions!”

Punny Mustache Captions for Social Media

  • My mustache game is strong.
  • Living my best life, one ‘stache at a time.
  • This mustache is my happy place.
  • Mustache: making faces since forever.
  • All I need is my ‘stache and my coffee.
  • My mustache is a work of art.
  • Confidence level: mustache.
  • This mustache makes me feel like a super hero.
  • Keep calm and love your mustache.
  • This mustache is my super power!
  • This mustache brings all the boys to the yard.
  • Having a great hair day, thanks to my mustache!
  • My mustache: permanently fabulous.
  • My mustache is my best accessory.
  • This mustache gives me the confidence boost I need.
  • My mustache and I are ready for anything.
  • I love myself some mustache.
  • This mustache is always on point.
  • My mustache: it’s got swagger.
  • My mustache, my style.
  • My mustache: always on trend.
  • My mustache: totally fabulous!
  • This mustache is my lucky charm.
  • This mustache is my identity!
  • This mustache never goes out of style!
  • My mustache makes me feel handsome and sophisticated.
  • My mustache is my trademark, it sets me apart from the crowd.
  • This mustache is the best part of me!
  • This mustache is a true reflection of my personality.
  • My mustache: I love it!

Best Pick: “Confidence level: mustache.”

Mustache Puns That Are Totally Groovy

  • I’ve got a mustache, it’s totally rad!
  • My mustache is far out!
  • My mustache is groovy, baby!
  • This mustache is so retro!
  • My mustache: totally awesome.
  • This mustache is out of sight!
  • My mustache is a vibe.
  • My mustache is a scene.
  • My mustache is so cool, it’s a total classic.
  • My mustache is a throwback.
  • My mustache is vintage.
  • My mustache is nostalgic.
  • This mustache is happening!
  • This mustache is the bee’s knees!
  • This mustache is a gas!
  • My mustache is psychedelic!
  • My mustache is totally tubular!
  • My mustache is righteous!
  • This mustache is wicked!
  • This mustache is awesome!
  • My mustache is rad!
  • My mustache is boss!
  • This mustache is legit!
  • This mustache is on point!
  • This mustache is the cat’s pajamas!
  • My mustache is the bomb diggity!
  • My mustache is gnarly!

Best Pick: “My mustache is groovy, baby!”

Mustache Puns for the Adventurous Spirit

  • My mustache: always ready for an adventure!
  • My mustache is my adventure buddy.
  • My mustache is always up for anything!
  • This mustache has seen it all!
  • This mustache is always game for anything!
  • My mustache has been everywhere!
  • My mustache has explored the world.
  • My mustache is my trusty companion!
  • My mustache is always exploring!
  • This mustache has conquered mountains!
  • This mustache has traversed deserts!
  • My mustache is a fearless explorer!
  • My mustache has sailed the seven seas!
  • My mustache is ready for the next big adventure!
  • My mustache is a champion!
  • My mustache is a survivor!
  • My mustache is an inspiration!
  • This mustache has a lot of stories to tell.
  • My mustache has seen the world!
  • My mustache is my travel companion!

Best Pick: “My mustache is always ready for an adventure!”

Conclusion

This comprehensive collection of mustache puns should have solved your quest for the perfect ‘stache joke. Whether you’re a seasoned punster or just starting out, we hope you enjoyed this humorous journey into the world of mustaches! Remember to share these with your friends and family for extra laughs.

The ultimate guide to hilarious mustache puns! Find the perfect ‘stache joke for any occasion in this collection of 9 categories, featuring over 360 punny quips and jokes. Guaranteed to make you laugh!

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