Are you searching high and low for the perfect train puns and jokes?
Do you feel like you’re riding the wrong track? Well, chugga-chugga-chug-chug your way over here!
This article is your express ticket to a world of hilarious train-themed humor.
We’ve compiled the best puns and jokes, so get ready to board the laughter express!
Choo-Choo-Choose Your Favorite!
- I’m feeling train-tastic today!
- What’s a train’s favorite game? Hide and seek!
- I’ve got 99 problems, but a train ain’t one.
- Why did the train stop? Because it ran out of puff!
- What’s the best way to avoid a train wreck? Don’t get on a train that’s already wrecked.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato. (Okay, not a train pun, but we needed a break!)
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Trains fly like… well, they don’t fly!
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. (Another non-train pun!)
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells!
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
- What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What does an Italian ghost always order when he goes out to eat? Spook-hetti.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen? Time to get a new clock.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What has an eye, but cannot see? A needle.
- What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day!
- What has an eye, but cannot see? A needle.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Best Pick: I’ve got 99 problems, but a train ain’t one.
Train Jokes for Kids
- Why did the train get a flat tire? Because it ran over a nail.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? Express yourself!
- What did the conductor say to the passengers? All aboard!
- What kind of music do trains listen to? Choo-Choo-Music!
- Why did the boy throw butter? He wanted to see a butter-fly. (Okay, a little off topic, but it’s funny!)
- What did the train say to the station? I’m so glad to see you.
- What does a train do when it’s cold? It blows its whistle!
- Where did the train go for lunch? To the station cafe.
- What’s a train’s favorite snack? Track-tion bars!
- What did the train say to the car? I think I’m going to run you over. (A bit cheeky, but kids will get it!)
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
- What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
- Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- What has an eye, but cannot see? A needle.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Best Pick: What did the conductor say to the passengers? All aboard!
Funny Train Puns
- I like my trains like I like my coffee: on the tracks.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to nowhere.
- My train of thought derailed… again!
- Don’t be a caboose, be the engine!
- Trains are loco-motion.
- What did the train engineer do when he was feeling under the weather? He took the day off.
- Why are trains so intelligent? They’re on the right track.
- What’s a train’s favorite type of music? Choo-choo music.
- Why did the train stop? Because it ran out of puff!
- If you see a train coming down the track, you should get out of the way immediately.
- Why did the boy throw butter? He wanted to see a butter-fly.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
- What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
- Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- What has an eye, but cannot see? A needle.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Best Pick: My train of thought derailed… again!
Clever Train Puns
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to never-never land.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake.
- The train was on the right track… literally.
- I’m feeling loco about trains!
- I’m on the right track, baby.
- What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? A choo-choo-root.
- What do you call a train that’s lost its way? A derailed train of thought.
- Why did the train go to therapy? It was feeling loco.
- What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo-choo-lata.
- Why did the train get a ticket? It was speeding.
- Why do trains make good comedians? They’re always on the right track.
- Why do trains make good therapists? They know how to stay on track.
- What did the train say to the station? I’m feeling really loco.
- What do you call a train that’s always on time? A very lucky train.
- What do you call a train that’s always early? A very fast train.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? A very slow train.
- Why don’t trains ever get lost? They’re always on the right track.
- Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was speeding.
- Why did the train go to therapy? It was feeling loco.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake.
- What do you call a train that’s lost its way? A derailed train of thought.
- What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo-choo-lata.
- What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? A choo-choo-root.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to never-never land.
- Why did the train get a ticket? It was speeding.
- Why do trains make good therapists? They know how to stay on track.
- Why do trains make good comedians? They’re always on the right track.
Best Pick: The train was on the right track… literally.
Dad Jokes About Trains
- Why did the train jump in the lake? Because it was trying to find the station.
- What do you call a train that’s made of cheese? A cheesy train!
- I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
- What’s the opposite of a train wreck? Train tracks?
- Why don’t trains play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What did the train say to the bridge? “I’ll see you on the other side!”
- What did the station say to the train? “I’ve got a lot of passengers for you”.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister!
- What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
- Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
- What has an eye, but cannot see? A needle.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Best Pick: Why did the train jump in the lake? Because it was trying to find the station.
Short Train Puns
- Train-tastic!
- All aboard!
- Choo-choo!
- On track!
- Loco!
- Full steam ahead!
- Tracks to nowhere.
- Derailed!
- Runaway train.
- Steam engine.
- Choo-choo-choose your adventure.
- I think I’m going to run you over.
- I’m feeling really loco.
- You’re pointless.
- I’ve got 99 problems, but a train ain’t one.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to nowhere.
- Why did the boy throw butter? He wanted to see a butter-fly.
- What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why was the bee’s hair sticky? Because he used a honey-comb.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Best Pick: Choo-choo!
Train Puns for Social Media
- Just boarded the happiness express. #traintrip #punny
- Having a train-tastic day! #trainpuns #goodvibes
- My train of thought is on the right track. #traintracks #positivevibes
- Feeling loco today! #trainlife #humor
- Life’s a journey, not a destination. And I’m taking the scenic train route. #lifejourney #traintravel
- What’s your favorite train pun? Let me know in the comments.
- It’s time to get this train moving. #letsgo
- My train of thought is derailed.
- What’s a train’s favorite game? Hide and seek.
- Why do trains make good comedians? They’re always on the right track.
- Why did the train go to therapy? It was feeling loco.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake.
- What do you call a train that’s lost its way? A derailed train of thought.
- What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo-choo-lata.
- What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? A choo-choo-root.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to never-never land.
- Why did the train get a ticket? It was speeding.
- Why do trains make good therapists? They know how to stay on track.
- Why do trains make good comedians? They’re always on the right track.
Best Pick: Just boarded the happiness express. #traintrip #punny
More Train Puns: Keep the Laughter Rolling!
- Train of thought… derailed.
- All aboard the pun train!
- I’m feeling loco!
- What’s a train’s favorite type of cheese? Cheddar.
- What do you call a train that’s always on time? A miracle.
- What’s a train’s favorite holiday? Track-or-Treat!
- Why did the train cross the road? To get to the other side.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake!
- What do trains eat for lunch? Boxcar-bonara!
- Where do trains go to party? The rail-way club!
- What’s a train’s favorite kind of music? Chugga-chugga-rhythm & blues.
- I’m feeling loco about this train!
- Why did the train get arrested? It was caught speeding.
- What do you call a train that’s always on time? A very lucky train.
- What do you call a train that’s always early? A very fast train.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? A very slow train.
- Why don’t trains ever get lost? They’re always on the right track.
- Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was speeding.
- Why did the train go to therapy? It was feeling loco.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake.
- What do you call a train that’s lost its way? A derailed train of thought.
- What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo-choo-lata.
- What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? A choo-choo-root.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to never-never land.
- Why did the train get a ticket? It was speeding.
- Why do trains make good therapists? They know how to stay on track.
Best Pick: What’s a train’s favorite holiday? Track-or-Treat!
Wordplay with Trains
- What do you call a train made of cheese? A cheesy train.
- I’ve got 99 problems but a train ain’t one.
- What do trains have in common with bees? They both have a hive.
- What’s a train’s favourite song? I’ve got a train coming.
- Why don’t trains wear glasses? They have good vision, always on track!
- What’s a train’s favourite game? Hide and seek.
- I’m feeling loco about this train!
- Why did the train get arrested? Because it was caught speeding.
- What do you call a train that’s always on time? A very lucky train.
- What do you call a train that’s always early? A very fast train.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? A very slow train.
- Why don’t trains ever get lost? They’re always on the right track.
- Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was speeding.
- Why did the train go to therapy? It was feeling loco.
- What’s a train’s favorite dessert? Choo-choo-late cake.
- What do you call a train that’s lost its way? A derailed train of thought.
- What’s a train’s favorite drink? Choo-choo-lata.
- What’s a train’s favorite vegetable? A choo-choo-root.
- What do you call a train that’s always late? The express to never-never land.
- Why did the train get a ticket? It was speeding.
- Why do trains make good therapists? They know how to stay on track.
Best Pick: What do you call a train made of cheese? A cheesy train.
Conclusion
This article provided a comprehensive collection of train puns and jokes, catering to various tastes and age groups.
From silly kid-friendly jokes to clever puns for adults and shareable social media content, we aimed to provide a complete train-themed humor experience.
Hopefully, you found the perfect pun to make you chuckle, and maybe even learn a new joke or two!
